with the other poster. It's not a "one-size-fits-all" solution. My outcome won't really help yours. For me, the solution was divorce. That doesn't mean divorce is the right option. I believe in the lady looking hot sex sanctity of marriage. I don't know that I would have walked away from a happy marriage, even though I was unhappy. My marriage was far from picture perfect. I think you situation needs to be considered as relevant to you and your marriage and not to others. Good luck.